no, this is not the introduction portion of a 12 step meeting in the blogosphere. Or maybe it is? I have known for a long time that certain aspects of my eating behaviors look an awful lot like what I understand an addiction to be. One of the best explanations of an addiction that I have ever heard is that an addict engages in behavior that they clearly know intellectually is detrimental, but continues to do so. This past week, a work colleague and my sister-in-law both sent me media coverage of a study just published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, "Neural Correlates of Food Addiction."
The reporting source from my sister-in-law's forward is MedPage where Kristina Fiore reports in brief and elegant simplicity:
- "Women with addictive-like eating behaviors appear to have neural activity on function magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) similar to that of substance abusers.
- Whether eating food or craving it, food lovers appear to have neural activity similar to that of substance abusers."
She goes on to point out the small-print disclaimers, including the small sample size and the exclusion of men from the study.
I do not need an expensive imaging test to reveal what I already know about myself and my own behavior. But there is an element of comfort in knowing that making bad food choices is not totally a matter of 'mind over matter'.
Since I am 'minding' this week, a cognitive behavioral technique (and one also taught in yoga and meditation) is the use of a phrase that you tell yourself over and over again. You come up with the word or phrase based on what resonates with you or you can use a 'canned' one suggested by others for this purpose.
One of my favorite phrases I use during the final segment of a yoga practice is "Be still and know that I am God".
Lately, I have begun to speak a phrase to myself during the day as a way of focusing. At CR, Dr. Murray told me that for me, sugar is poison. Forget those so-called experts who say that diabetics can eat sweets in moderation. Those three words, sugar is poison, have become the go-to phrase I say to myself when the situation around me demands a choice on my part. Last night, I attended a community event with work colleagues. It was a true "special event" and I ran into some old friends and acquaintances and we laughed and talked and got caught up on each other's lives; and met some interesting new people.
And, oh the food! It was dinnertime and the buffet spread was beautiful and included good choices; at the end of the line there were the desserts that usually call my name until I respond. But, I told myself over and over again, "sugar is poison, sugar is poison". And last night it worked.
It was axiomatic in my work done years ago with TQM (Total Quality Management) that "what gets measured gets managed". This quote is attributed to Peter Drucker, management guru extraordinaire and was used as part of the MBO movement (management by objectives, remember that?) In TQM, we collected data as the basis for measurement. There was a lot of education done about how to display data using various types of charts and graphs so that it told a story. I was once required to attend a multi-day training program on statistical process control. It was like torture. A determining factor in why I went to law school as opposed to getting an MBA was so I would not have to take statistics. But although I cannot remember the details of the class, some key principles have stuck with me for more than a decade. Once you have 20 - 25 data points you can plot them on a control chart and calculate upper and lower control limits. Fluctuation of points within the upper and lower limits results from variations inherent in the process. If the process is stable, you can easily see it because continued collection of data points yields no changes to the picture that the chart tells. However, processes can become "out of control" and when they do, you can see it because the story changes. One way to tell that a process is changing is having six consecutive points, increasing or decreasing.
When first diagnosed, Dr. Natalie gave me a prescription for a meter to track blood sugar, but was not overly directive about using it right away. And I was fine with that. Who wants to stick themselves and draw blood on a regular basis?
Since the numbers she was looking at through lab work were trending in the wrong direction, I decided to measure so I could manage. One of my favorite iPhone apps is Dlife because it takes blood sugar readings and puts them into a control chart. So I have been able to see the trend since returning from CR and know that it showed a shift in the process that could only have come from a 'special cause'. WOW.
The picture above was taken during a tour of Churchill's War Rooms, underground in London. If Churchill could manage WWII using charts and graphs, I can certainly manage this crappy disease using them too.
Remember that Carpenters song with the line 'Rainy days and Mondays always get me down'? Rainy days and Sunday nights sometimes get me down; Monday morning work looms large and the television set with the nearby couch beckons, especially if there is Sunday night football or a hockey game. (What is the low-carb substitute name for couch potato? Maybe couch turnip?) There is not usually much planned activity; Sunday nights are problematic in the eating and moving department.
Last night, my husband and I (for whom I am planning to invent a fake name just like Elizabeth Gilbert did for her SO, but that's another post) went to Heinz Chapel for sung prayer by the Pittsburgh Compline Choir. It's a pretty well kept secret that I learned of only last year when a work colleague invited me to a benefit concert given by the choir, even though it has been doing this for 22 years now during the academic year. Heinz Chapel is a beautiful venue; and even on a sunny day, seems dark inside. Compline is the final prayer of the day and in sung form; it is calming and moving.
When we got home I checked out the choir's website and found an article written by Charlie Stewart for the Holiday 2010 issue of Shady Ave magazine. Some excerpts that I hope might move local readers of EMM to stop in some Sunday night at 8:30:
"Feel a sense of calm take hold of you as you enter Heinz Memorial Chapel in Oakland to hear the Pittsburgh Compline Choir. Close your eyes and listen to the quiet. Take a deep breath and exhale your worries As the chanting rises from the chancel, let the goose bumps flow down your spine, while you are transported to a long-ago century. When the organ prelude begins, a meditative rest takes hold as you imagine leaves shimmering in the breeze, a crescent moon, hugging a friend, a father pushing his daugher on a swing -- or nothing. The service heightens your senses -- the smell of incense, the sight of flickering candles, and the resonance of the choir's voices in the high, vaulted ceilings of the chapel. Let the experience waft over you. Pray for someone you love, and let God know you will try to be a better person. That's what Compline is all about."
My friends all know that I am a pretty serious Pittsburgh Steeler fan. The photo on my Facebook page is me with colleague/friend Marcie at the AFC Championship game last January all wrapped up in the freezing weather. My husband thought I was certifiably crazy to endure the elements. But it was a great game. However, as much a fan as I am, it was tough to be too upset at the Steelers subsequent Super Bowl loss for several reasons not important to the point of this post. The most important reason I did not go into mourning is that I was so happy for Packers head coach Mike McCarthy. Mike and I went to the same small, poor and long-shuttered Catholic high school in Homestead, Bishop Boyle. Bishop Boyle only existed for about 25 years. It was a victim of the domino effect of the steel industry collapse. In the hierarchy of prestigious local Catholic high schools, Bishop Boyle was at the bottom. The building was a converted and old elementary school, our girls gym was in the Salvation Army building next door -- you get the picture.
But I don't know Mike and Mike doesn't know me -- we are about ten years apart in age and Mike traveled to school from Greenfield, the other side of the Homestead Grays bridge.
After the Super Bowl was over, I learned that Mike selected someone I do know from the Pittsburgh area to give the pre-game speech to his players, Dr. Kevin Elko.
Kevin and I worked together at a place that does not appear on the blue-chip version of his resume, the one that lists his involvement with championship teams and says how many big rings he has (assuming Mike McCarthy gives him one, I think he has as many Super Bowl rings as Ben Roethlisberger).
If you google 'Dr. Kevin Elko', hundreds of references to his success appear -- and not just to his work as a motivational speaker. He has a real and impressive record of achievement in selecting and building championship teams. After all, talk itself is cheap. Actually, in Kevin's case, talk is not cheap. One of the sites I looked at yesterday pegs his per speech fee at $35,000-$50,000. Suffice it to say, I knew Kevin when you could go to one of his 'talks' for free. He was in graduate school at the time. Even then, it was apparent that he had an incredible gift. He speaks with a soft West-Virginia drawl and his presentations were thought provoking, funny and actionable. We stay in touch although in recent years, not as much. I still remember picking up the phone one day and Kevin being on the other end saying, "Guess what, Rosanne, I just met Nelson Mandela!". We travel in very different circles now, but he is still a friend. Yesterday, I was looking at Kevin's website (which is on the list of sites I follow) and decided to download the white paper called 'Five Questions That Will Change Your Life' . You can get access to it by signing up for his newsletter. I'm not going to give you the five questions, only the following quote: "The only way to consistently do anything is to be mindful of it. Mindful means to be conscious, to think about, to set out early in our day and intend to do something". I spent a fair amount of time in London thinking about what to name this blog -- and a lot of the time in trying to change behavior has to date focused on the 'eat' and 'move' part of the title. This week I am going to 'mind.'
