Fun and Fundraising

Last night, we attended a fundraiser to benefit a trade school in Uganda.  A retired priest friend of ours (who we got to know when we were part of a group that took an Alaska cruise two summers ago) became a friend of a Ugandan priest when he came to Duquesne University for graduate study.  The Ugandan priest started a trade school which is in need of funds to support its mission of training people in marketable skills like carpentry, construction, etc.  So, Father Jim got a caterer, entertainment and a church hall courtesy of another priest friend of ours who was on the same Alaska cruise.  They both promoted the event through various networks, including church bulletins, Facebook, emails and personal appeals.  About fifty people came, including our neighbors and Priscilla and Tom, and it was fun.  There were basket of cheer and 50-50 raffles, lots of laughter and good conversation.  Father Jim was pleased with the turnout and the results. 
At one point near the end of the evening, my neighbor leaned over to me and started to talk about how hard it can be to know just how to support all the various worthy charities and causes that are out there.  My neighbor was also a friend of Anne Mullaney and we were talking about how committed Anne was to seeing a school built in Haiti.  She pointed out how wasteful it seems when we make a memorial contribution for someone to a charity we do not typically support and it sets off a seemingly unending chain of further solicitation that surely costs more than the original gift and is unlikely to result in any further contribution on our part.
A funny story about direct mail fundraising: JB made a contribution to an Indian School in South Dakota which has some involvement with the Jesuits.   This has resulted in many follow-up mail solicitations.  My husband was telling a Jesuit acquaintance about these solicitations, that seemed to always involve a broken truck, a roof in need of replacement or the building in need of repair.  The Jesuit wryly commented that perhaps they should fire the Development Director and hire a maintenance person! 
Karen asked whether it is better to give small amounts to a wide range of worthy causes or just say no to the vast majority of solicitations and pick a few 'favorite charities' which would receive more sizable contributions?
We never finished the conversation and I don't know the answer.  What does concern me is the extent to which any contribution I make ever actually makes it to the cause it is intended to benefit.   I am close enough to some charitable organizations to see just how much money it takes to raise money; and that there are costs associated with special events particularly that often erode much of what is raised.
But I do feel good about last night.  I know the money is going directly to the cause for which it was raised.  There were no professional fundraisers or event planners involved.  Just one person committed to doing something to help a friend.   

Grief, Yoga and Irish Wakes

After the last two funerals I have been to for someone significant to me, I did the only constructive thing I could thing of to do -- go to a yoga class.  Yesterday I learned what the term 'Irish Wake' means.  I left after five hours and it was still going strong.  It was everything I would have imagined -- beer, stories, laughter, tears, kids, old people, lots of good food, flowers and something unexpected, what appeared to be a professional photographer. The Mass was SRO, the eulogy superbly crafted and delivered -- what a send off.
Since I don't drink beer (yes, I was a friend of Anne Mullaney's and have never had a beer in my life), I started to eat -- lots.  One of the life experiences Anne and I shared was Weight Watchers and I imagine her making some witty yet pointed comment about how many points were in all that stuff I consumed while others were drinking beer.  I recall a few conversations with Anne about yoga, including a particular one about 'legs up the wall' pose and also about our on again, off again relationship with Weight Watchers points. 
Anne's obituary requested memorial contributions to two of her favorite charities (and yes, that school Anne wanted to build in Haiti will be built); many people and organizations sent flowers also.  How many people get flowers from Guinness at their funerals? 
The photograph above is one of the most beautiful arrangements I have ever seen (free plug for Toadflax in Shadyside). 
Anyway, back to yoga.  The evening of my mom's funeral in 2009, I went to a yoga class because I had nothing else to do.  The Irish have it all over the Italians in that respect since they apparently surround the family with activity and love in a marathon-like experience, making the need to find something to do the evening of the funeral a non-issue. 
In 2009, I wrote a reflection on that yoga class that I will add to this post later if I can find it. 

New Easter Traditions

"I am the resurrection and the life".   Aren't those seven words what Easter's all about?  Not bonnets and buffets.  I did manage to eat, mind and move this Easter Sunday.  JB and I went to Mass at St. Mary's in Sharpsburg. (JB is the name I've decided to use when referring to my husband in this blog -- i.e. my Javier Bardem.)  The Church was beautifully decorated and full; the Mass was joyful.  After Mass, I took a quick 30-minute walk around the neighborhood with my neighbor. Then we went with friends Priscilla and Tom to the Westmoreland Museum of Art.  Priscilla was interested in a special landscape exhibit.  WMOA is lovely and small; it has a collection of local landscapes in addition to the special one Priscilla wanted to see. The painting pictured above by William Coventry Wall (1811-1886) is part of their permanent collection and is titled 'View Along the Allegheny Near Aspinwall, PA, 1867'.  The post next to the painting reads, "Painted from the outskirts of Sharpsburg, the view looks upriver toward what is today the town of Aspinwall.  Shown is a stretch of the Allegheny River with Six Mile Island as it looked in the 1860s.  Today the Highland Park Bridge and adjacent highway would obstruct much of this view."  Then we ate (at a buffet), but not too much.  I missed my kids since they are both in the middle of a college term and did not come home.  But having a holiday not be totally food centered was a welcome change. 

Brian O'Neill on Anne Mullaney

http://communityvoices.sites.post-gazette.com/index.php/news/ipso-facto/28496-attorney-anne-mullaney-dies-at-age-54

Brian O'Neill knew Anne Mullaney for, as he put it, "as long as she owned a bar."  He emceed the tribute to her by Neighbors in the Strip that he mentions in this Post-Gazette news obituary.  You can catch a glimpse of how special she was through his excellent writing.  And if you want to buy a copy of his book, The Paris of Appalachia, they sell it from behind the bar at Mullaney's Harp and Fiddle. 

Annie, we hardly knew ye

My friend and colleague Anne Mullaney died today.  I will write more about her later and will post her obituary.  It will help you to understand, if you were not fortunate enough to know her, what you missed.   The significance of her death on Good Friday is hard to overstate.  The following notice appeared on her Carebridge site earlier today:  "Rest In Peace, Anne Mullaney, April 22, 2011.  Anne passed peacefully early this morning, with her beloved and steadfast Maurice and family by her side. Details of services, and memorial gifts in lieu of flowers, will follow as soon as those plans are made.  It is fitting that we take this journey in Holy Week.  Anne always took a day-long retreat each year on Good Friday.  We join with her this Good Friday in contemplation, prayer, and in the mystery of Christ's suffering for us. ( ..we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us...We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5)"  To describe Anne as a lawyer, bar owner (Mullaney's Harp and Fiddle), board member, community leader, wife, friend, sister and aunt doesn't begin to convey the essence of the amazing woman she was.  If you have time this holiday weekend, visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/annemullaney and read the messages sent before and after her death.    
There must be some reason why someone so vital has been taken from us, especially today.  Some of the messages speak to this timing.
The other thought that has been running through my mind all day is that there is going to be one gigantic Irish wake sometime next week in the Strip District. 

"I'm a dancer, I'm not a football player...I'm a dancer, I'm not a football player..

That phrase was reported by the Pittsburgh Post Gazette to be the self-talk of Hines Ward "to get in the right frame of mind to compete on Dancing With the Stars".  People at work are always talking about DWTS; until last night, I had never seen it. That man can dance! 
There has been a lot of local coverage about Hines Ward's participation, because well, this is Steeler nation and in the off season, we yearn for any newsworthy tidbits about players and the team.  Hines was in town last week on Steeler-related business and it was also reported that he was practicing his routine at the Steelers South Side facility so he did not miss a beat on his preparation schedule. He apparently charts out his dance steps on paper so he can study just like he would a football playbook.
This is the mind and work ethic of a champion.
Some people think that the concept of self-talk is "meaningless psychobabble"; you know who you are.  Well, if it's good enough for world champion, MVP, DWTS phenom Hines Ward, it's good enough for me!

Our Lady of Weight Loss,

aka Janice Taylor, is one of my motivators. She's in the blogosphere and you can link to 'Our Lady of Weight Loss' from the links on the right side of my blog. I don't link a lot or with just anybody. I met Janice Taylor last November at the Diabetes Expo, where she spoke, greeted people and signed books.  I bought a copy of OLWL that she signed for me.  She's very funny; the book is an easy read.  Have you ever heard the expression, it's not what someone says, it's how they make you feel?  There is a personal warmth about her and a genuineness that can only come from someone who has been there.  Something in her 'before' picture reminded me of me.  And her 'after' picture and actual presence look worlds away from where she started.  That's what I want. 
One of my favorite things in the book is a form letter that you can send to your office mates about the work environment.  There is a lot of food drama and frenzy in most office settings that is challenging for some of us.  Her letter gave me the courage and the words to ask a colleague to move her candy dish (and no one will get hurt!) which she keeps within easy reaching distance of my hand as I walk the corridor to the outside door of our office suite dozens of times a day.  That's a lot of times to resist temptation.  
One of her signature expressions (and the title of another of her books) is, 'All is Forgiven, Move On'.   That helps me too.  That whole self-compassion, don't beat yourself up too much approach is working much better for me than the whole guilt thing.